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| Large oak tree - Photo by FOX from Pexels |
Q. "There is a large oak tree growing in our yard. ...We want to add a room to our house. IMO the tree has to go. But my wife loves the tree."
A. This reminds me of a few discussions I had with a customer a long time ago. For the sake of anonymity, I'll call him Pete. Pete, a lawyer, spent his professional career in a large city. He hired me to maintain his retirement property.
Pete had several undesirable trees around his estate, mostly misshapen black cherries (
Prunus serotina) and water oaks (
Quercus nigra) in various stages of decline. Those not decrepit were growing in the wrong places. But Pete insisted they were "magnificent." "Magnificent weeds," I replied. But he wouldn't allow me to remove them.
Perhaps Pete suffered from what I call the Kilmer Complex (after
Joyce Kilmer). These folks think they "
shall never see a poem lovely as a tree." Trees are bigger than themselves, and perhaps older, so are impressive even if diseased or growing in inconvenient places. They have no problem, however, destroying smaller undesirables. It's a matter of perspective, and an odd one at that.
What is a weed but an undesirable plant, or a plant growing in an undesirable place? It doesn't matter, really, how great or small. If it can't be transplanted elsewhere, get rid of it.
I wrote all that to say I understand your predicament. Try reasoning gently with her using my argument. If she remains rooted in her opinion, there's not much you can do about it. I guess it depends on whether she wants the additional room more than the tree, or whether you desire her more than the additional room.
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